What is a Low-Libido Person (So-Seongyokja)?

A recent TV program featured a discussion about individuals with low sexual desire, sparking widespread curiosity about the term.

1. Overview

On the program, a husband who appeared was said to have little sexual desire, while his wife had a significantly higher libido. Since many people were encountering the term for the first time, curiosity about what a "low-libido person" (so-seongyokja) actually means seems to have grown. For those who are curious like I was, today we will take a moment to learn about the concept of so-seongyokja. As is well known, every person is born with innate desires. Among these, there are the so-called three major desires: the need for sleep, the need for food, and sexual desire. The degree of each desire varies from person to person, and those who are born with a naturally lower sex drive are referred to as so-seongyokja (low-libido individuals). The word so-seongyokja is not registered in any official dictionary; it appears to be a compound word formed from the characters meaning "small," "sexual desire," and "person." Similar terms include asexual (museongyokja) or hypersexual (wangseongyokja), but these carry different meanings. Asexuality refers to having no sexual attraction to others, whereas a low-libido person, as mentioned, is not completely without sexual desire like an asexual person — they simply have a lower level of sexual drive. There are said to be many different variations within the spectrum of low libido and asexuality. For example, some people prioritize emotional love over physical intimacy, while others enjoy simple physical contact but find it difficult to advance to sexual relations — and so on. It is said that many such variations of asexuality and low libido exist.

2. Is Being a Low-Libido Person a Problem in Life?

If a couple has little sexual desire and neither partner has complaints about their married life, it does not appear to cause any problems. However, if one partner has a strong sex drive while the other has a low one, it is well known that dissatisfaction can arise and problems may occur. When a couple has a difference in sexual desire, it can also result in hurt feelings on both sides, making communication difficult or generating resentment. Here is an important point: communicating openly and comfortably with each other is known to be one of the most crucial aspects of a relationship. If both partners can honestly express when they want intimacy, and also openly share when they are finding it difficult — clearly communicating what works best and when — it appears that dissatisfaction between them can be reduced. Furthermore, not just in married life but in any relationship, talking and communicating with each other is said to be truly important. However, in South Korea, discussing sexual preferences openly — even between spouses who are very close — is known to be somewhat of a difficult matter. A couple's sex life is not just about the physical act alone; broadly speaking, it encompasses the relationship as well as emotional connection, making it a truly important aspect and part of the process of maintaining a healthy relationship. For this reason, taking time for more honest and sincere conversation between spouses for the sake of their communication is said to be very important indeed. Although being overwhelmed by work and childcare may leave little time for couple conversations, it is said that taking even a little time to share each other's thoughts and feelings can actually lead to a healthier relationship. Listening to the stories of many couples, it is said that cases often arise where people end up neglecting each other due to hurt caused by the other's actions. Furthermore, when communication is lacking, unresolved hurts can accumulate and grow into a larger problem, so resolving issues quickly is also considered very desirable. Low-libido individuals have a low sex drive — they are not celibate or abstinent by ideology. Speaking honestly about one's situation through dialogue and making efforts to work things out is said to be the approach that allows a relationship to continue in a healthier way.

3. If Direct Words Still Feel Embarrassing, How About Creating a Signal Only the Two of You Understand?

Trying out various methods and finding the approach that suits each person's situation can also be helpful for improving the relationship. It is recommended to actively make use of the methods mentioned above through plenty of open conversation.

4. What Is the Social Perception of Low-Libido Individuals?

In recent times, social awareness and perception of low-libido individuals has been gradually improving. In the past, having a low sex drive was often regarded as abnormal, but it is said that modern society is increasingly forming an atmosphere that respects individual diversity. Experts explain that being a low-libido person is simply one type of normal sexual orientation. The degree of sexual desire can vary from person to person, and it is known to be influenced by various factors such as hormones, psychological state, and living environment. For this reason, being a low-libido person does not mean one needs treatment; rather, understanding and accepting one's own sexual identity is considered important. Furthermore, if one has a partner, recognizing and respecting each other's differences is said to be essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.