What Is Gaslighting?

Hello. You have likely come across the word "gaslighting" quite often recently. I am curious whether you know its exact meaning. In this article, I will explain it in detail so that you can easily understand it.

1. What Does Gaslighting Mean?

Gaslighting is known to refer to a form of psychological manipulation in which one person cleverly distorts a situation to undermine the other person's self-esteem and cause them to lose their ability to make their own judgments. People who are subjected to this psychological manipulation often end up gradually following what the manipulator says rather than making their own judgments. Meanwhile, the origin of the term "gaslighting" is said to come from the 1954 American film Gaslight. The film depicts a husband's scheme to gradually drive his wife to madness in order to obtain her famous jewels. Every night, the man dims the gas lights in the house, and when his wife says the house is too dark or that she hears noises coming from a room, he repeatedly rebukes her, telling her she is imagining things, seeing things wrong, or just fantasizing. It was later revealed that the sounds from the room were actually made by the husband as he searched for the treasure. Yet the wife gradually comes to believe she is going insane. As these incidents repeat, the wife begins to doubt and forget herself, becoming entirely dependent on her husband's words - a state of mental abuse.

2. What Are the Types of Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is generally known to fall into five main types. The methods of psychological abuse are described as follows. When this behavior is repeated, the victim comes to distrust themselves, experiences lowered self-esteem, and becomes filled with doubt.

• Denial: Flatly refusing to acknowledge the other person's opinion or understand their perspective.
• Countering: Distrusting and dismissing the other person's memories.
• Diversion: Making the other person question their own thoughts.
• Trivializing: Making the other person feel that their needs and emotions are insignificant and unimportant.
• Forgetting: Denying that real events ever took place. Furthermore, gaslighting is known to occur in a wide variety of relationships. It is said to happen regardless of the ages, genders, or organizational roles of the perpetrator and victim. Because the perpetrator proceeds gradually and often unconsciously, victims frequently fail to recognize what is happening to them.

3. How Does the Gaslighting Process Unfold?

The perpetrator first establishes a relationship with the victim. The perpetrator and victim are often in a very close relationship. This may include romantic partners, family members, friends, workplace superiors, or peers. The process then moves into a phase of memory distortion. The perpetrator relentlessly criticizes the victim and prevents them from trusting their own judgment, gradually eroding the victim's self-esteem. The perpetrator attempts to control the victim's decisions. They distort the victim's memories in ways that benefit themselves. By this point, the victim has slowly begun to submit to the perpetrator. The relationship then enters a phase of dismissal. The victim is treated as overly sensitive or strange, and the perpetrator imposes their own will. In the early stages, the victim may try to argue back and resolve things through conversation. Over time, the victim begins to fear falling out of favor with the perpetrator. As a result, even while sensing that something is wrong, the victim starts acting in ways that serve the perpetrator's interests - even in their own judgment and emotions. Eventually, the victim enters a phase of self-blame. They come to believe that they are wrong and the perpetrator is right. They work even harder to fulfill and accommodate the perpetrator's demands.

4. How Can You Prevent and Cope with Gaslighting?

In cases of gaslighting, victims may be gradually drawn in without even realizing it. This makes it difficult to detect early on. Even perpetrators may often be unaware of the situation themselves. As a preventive measure, if you find yourself constantly watching someone else's reactions, worrying about whether you have done something wrong, or acting according to that person's opinions rather than your own, you should suspect gaslighting. As the symptoms worsen, they often lead to depression and a loss of self-esteem. It is important to be mindful of situations in which your own opinions go unheard and your self-worth is being diminished. If someone around you is causing you distress, decisively ending that relationship is also considered a very effective course of action. Additionally, gaslighting should always be addressed rationally. If you suspect gaslighting, it is advisable to save or take screenshots of chat messages you have exchanged. Recording phone conversations with the other person is also considered a good approach. If you have saved chat logs and recorded calls, showing them to a trusted friend and asking for their objective assessment is recommended. If gaslighting is suspected, keep in mind that you may not be aware of it yourself, so it is important to seek help from the people around you.